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Can CATs Count?

In the world of business, there are some things we simply have to know, and I set out to answer the most pressing questions about business operations that everybody can benefit from.



This endeavour starts with a stark realisation about the nature of online activities. The general consensus among the denizens of the internet is that all technological advancements forwarded by humankind serve, in some way, to enable us to look at cats. This is a core element of the Cute Cat Theory of Digital Activism, in which online platforms, such as Facebook or Twitter, are designed for mundanity, but enable activism. The theory itself is named after the immense love of looking at cats. People love looking at cats.


None more so than the internet, of which the cat is the unofficial mascot. In fact, the New York Times has named cat pictures “that essential building block of the internet” in this article about personal data and the public.


While there are many theories for the phenomenon and why cats took over the internet, from the I Can Haz Emoshuns? research paper about social computing technology, to emotion regulation, this vigilant investigator has still failed to find a straightforward answer about the biggest question of them all:


Can CATs count?


In terms of business operations, cats have pitched in their fair share. Consider these feline heroes of craft beer, who have contributed immensely to safeguarding the wellbeing of society, or perhaps the rollercoaster tale of this handsome library cat and his struggle find employment (spoiler alert: the cat came back and outlasted the councilman who tried to oust him).


While the investigation has led me down one rabbit-hole after another, the best conclusion I can reach is that we cannot prove that cats cannot count. Ultimately, research into feline numerical processing has been stunted because cats simply don’t care about the value of this research.


That means that while cats might be useful business companions, it might be best to leave the financials to the Certified Accounting Technicians.


If there are any pressing business questions you'd like a well-researched and completely serious answer to, let us know and we'll do our best!

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